Lives that Matter

Note: Many of my posts, I edit and clean up from my initial journal-style first draft. This one I decided to leave as is, because sometimes you just need to be able to rant a little.

I don’t understand the simplistic thinking that’s going into a lot of posts on social media these days. I assume that they reflect what the poster believes in, since they are posting it. I just don’t understand how people look at Black Lives Matter, for instance, and see it as a violent movement. Over 93% of their protests have been nonviolent, yet I see meme after meme proclaiming that BLM is a violent, lawless organization who want to burn everything down. I see people quoting Martin Luther King back at protestors like…they don’t know who he is? So let me just say this…there is racism in America. There is racism in your own mind and heart, just like there is in mine. It’s there. It’s your job to root it out in your own heart and do the work, and posting these memes and shouting back about what BLM protestors are doing wrong is just an excuse for you not to take a look inward and ask yourself what you can do to love your black brothers and sisters better. Have all black people protested and spoken up perfectly? No. Do they all agree amongst each other with how racism should be addressed? No. When people step out into uncomfortable spaces, there are mistakes and things are confusing and complicated, but I am so thankful that people are standing up and speaking out, even imperfectly. It’s my job to listen to them, pray and weigh my own convictions, and then act according to those. I don’t dismiss every voice because I disagree with how one or two handled something.

And let me just speak this into a space that I think a lot of my friends and family might be able to relate to: Christianity. There are bad apples in every bunch. Do you get mad when someone misquotes scripture? Do you get angry when someone takes a belief that you hold dear and twists it? Of course. Does every Christian believe exactly the same about every issue? No? Oh, okay, well…same with every other group that you’re dismissing because of one loudmouth. Let’s remember that when we’re categorizing a whole race, or group, or movement and one person says or does something stupid.

Let’s discuss “All lives matter,” trying to face racism like you don’t see color, or acting like if we don’t talk about it then it’ll just go away. If you have the option of not talking about it, or ignoring it, then kudos to you, that’s what they call privilege. When you come back with “All Lives Matter,” you’re missing the point. When they said “Black Lives Matter” that’s because they wanted to point to the fact that they are not already being treated as if they matter. Yes, sex trafficking is a problem. Yes, abortion is a problem. Yes, people get killed for all kinds of terrible reasons every day. It’s not a big competition guys. You can care about all of it. You can talk to your kids about all of it. But when someone is trying to tell you about their experience and you throw something else at them, it’s just rude. It’s interrupting someone else’s story to shout your own over the top of it. Stop it. Speak less. Listen more. Follow the causes that God has laid on your heart to pursue and stop being rude to other people who are pursuing theirs.

It’s this simplistic Us vs. Them mentality that is killing, literally killing, people. I read posts from Facebook groups created to support police officers, talking about the tragedy of officers being shot. It is a tragedy. But the wording in many of these posts follow a narrative that the police are good, and on the side of God; there is a lot of faith language thrown in. I am wary of any organization that puts themselves firmly on the side of “God” and leaves everyone else on the outside. They describe themselves as the “Thin Blue Line,” expressly claiming that police are the only thing responsible for keeping society from collapsing into chaos. Now I would agree that, yes, absolutely, the police officers purpose is to keep peace. I think that is what most are fighting hard to do. However, to portray police as some God-sent pure entity, and everyone else is evil, is a problem on a very deep level. Police officers are in a position of great power, which is very very vulnerable to corruption. On top of that, we should keep in mind that many of these organizations were started in times when racism was rampant. We need to be sure to listen when someone tells us something is broken.

I have lots of friends that are police officers, and I have so many stories of how they have sacrificed to help other people. They have served and protected me and my son on multiple occasions. I am thankful for their willingness to put themselves in danger to protect us. I also know that my experience is not everyone’s experience. I grew up white in a small town in the midwest. If I grew up black in L.A., would I have had a police officer buy a baseball bat with his own money and deliver it to my son after his had been stolen? Maybe not. We need to understand that there are two sides to this coin. I have never been stopped for no reason. I have gotten out of about a billion speeding tickets, when I was speeding. I was guilty, and they let me off with a warning. There are people being stopped for literally no reason whatsoever and harassed because some officers just feel like it. We have to understand that when people are shot and killed, and no one is held responsible, then there is going to be a lot of anger. I also think there are a lot of people who are working really hard for reform and reconciliation.

Let’s talk about “Defund the Police.” First off, I hate the name, but I do support the concept because I think that we ask officers to do too much. I think it would be helpful to redistribute some of their jobs to other professionals. There are just so many cases where someone is mentally ill and puts themselves, officers, and other people in danger and all we do is punish them. These people need help. Instead of buying them riot gear and bigger guns, why don’t we move that funding to other departments and help them with the load that they carry? We ask them to do 10 different jobs, most of which they are not trained for, then get upset when they don’t react properly. So instead of hearing the words “Defund the Police” and assuming that means people want to disrespect and throw out the whole institution (if I see one more meme where people are like, ‘Oh you want to defund the police, I guess you can’t call them when you’re being murdered then…” INSERT EYE ROLL HERE), can we look at the spirit of where this is coming from and admit that maybe we’ve placed far too much of a burden on these men and women’s shoulders?

Guys, can we all agree that something isn’t working? Can we stop with the simplistic memes and the Us vs. Them arguments and start talking about what’s happening (on both sides) and how we can fix it? Every single time I have a conversation in person about this issue, more scenarios come up that don’t fit into one mold or the other. In my opinion, bigger guns won’t fix it. Getting rid of police altogether won’t fix it. Protesting is getting people’s attention, but causing negative reactions and violence. What else can we do? Let’s have conversations about what might actually work, instead of adding gasoline to this dumpster fire.

Here is my challenge to you, no matter which side you’re on on any issue, no matter what you believe: Think before you post. Does the meme you’re about to share take both sides into consideration? Have you done your research, is it even true? Is it designed to tell people how you’re right and someone who disagrees with you is stupid? If so, stop it. Those kinds of posts are selfish and not about actually helping anyone. If someone votes for one candidate it doesn’t mean they like to kill babies, and if someone votes for the other it doesn’t mean they hate gay people. Remember? More complicated than that. Let’s stop posting stupid inflammatory memes and start having hard conversations with ourselves and those who disagree with us. I’m not exaggerating when I say I believe our country, our friendships, and our families depend on it.