Getting rid of another bit of shame
I used to feel kind of embarrassed about a habit that I have. For as long as I can remember, I will find a subject or topic, get super excited about it, and will study every single thing I can about it for weeks or months. Then I find a different thing that inspires me, and it’s on to that thing. For some reason I always felt like it was a flighty thing to do. No one ever told me that I was flaky, I just felt like I’d be a lot more responsible of a person if I’d just stuck to one thing. I thought people would see what I was doing and think “Mindy is off on some new kick again” and probably roll their eyes.
About a year and a half ago, I discovered Rachel Hollis. I’d never followed anyone in the personal growth space before, and I learned so so many things I’d never thought about before. About a year before that, I listened to people of color talking about their life experiences. I read about things like the New Jim Crow for the first time, and as a result, voraciously studied everything I could find about systemic racism. In January, I decided to focus on the word “health” for the year, and studied what diet and exercise plans would work best for me. For the last two weeks, I’ve been studying everything I can find about being frugal with my finances.
I no longer am ashamed about the fact that I get super excited and interested in a topic, then move on to something new in a few months. Because I don’t drop it. I might move on to something else and not be quite as intense, but those lessons that I learned during that period of intensity don’t just disappear. I’m still aware of racism in the world around me. I still place priority on personal growth. I have lost 26 lbs this year by making changes to my diet and exercise. I’ve called and lowered my monthly bills by $65 this week, and I am actively working on breaking the paycheck to paycheck cycle.
Being a human is about growth and learning, and it’s really okay to get excited when you figure something new out. Cash and I were talking last week about different stages of life, and how people mature. We had recently had a particularly horrifying run-in with an angry older driver. This man had screamed curse words at us, and nearly caused us personal harm by losing his temper. Cash remarked about the fact that he was old enough to know better. We talked about how actual growth doesn’t just happen naturally because you live longer on the planet. It gets easier, for sure, with more life experiences, but everyone has a choice whether they want to grow and change, or whether they want to stay just where they are. Now, I don’t see my interest in new things as an irresponsible way to be; I am so thankful that I am able to keep finding new things to learn, ways to improve myself and our lives, and that I feel excited doing it.